CitraWipe Your Way To Cycling Sterility

Disclaimer: Should CitraWipe accidently contact your manly parts, no harm will be done. I repeat, no harm will befall you! In this case the term ‘sterility’ means soley ‘anti-filthy’. CitraWipe will keep your grimy mitts and your bike antiseptically clean!

It happened again the other day. Just when I was ready to chase after my fierce competitors on our friendly group ride, my chain came off and I was left messing with my greasy drivetrain while the Tasmanian Devils put as much distance as they could on me. What to do? What to do!?

I fumbled with the chain for a while, at one point creating ‘panicked-rider-induced chain suck’. But I eventually yanked the chain free and was soon on my way.

But what to do about the greasy hands? That, my friends, is why I always wear black shorts! I quickly wiped that grease onto my shorts (never on the backside- I may forget and sit on my wife’s favorite sofa when I get home).

Ah, but a new and improved era is upon us! CitraWipe by Zogics can be put next to your flat-changing kit. If you don’t ride with a bunch of barbarians who judge your breaking down as an opportunity from the cycling gods, you can take the extra few seconds to get out the ‘Citrus-Powered Degreaser Hand Wipe’ (Zogics’ description) and clean up properly.

But do they work? Of course they do, you cynical reader!

CitraWipe In The Laboratory

Utilizing a highly controlled environment so as to not be influenced by blowing wind, changes in atmospheric pressure, or global warming, I put these ‘babywipes-on-steriods’ to the test in the sanctity of my garage.

First, I soiled myself thoroughly by grabbing my own chain. With hands freshly greased, I reached for the CitraWipe packet and thanks to the little notch on the side I initiated the unwrapping procedure without losing finger traction. I did a visual inspection to confirm that the wipe was indeed 7 inches by 9 inches. Olfactory inspection identified the wipe to be impregnated by Citra. Gustatory inspection revealed the Citrawipe to be not appropriate for ingestion.

I stand before you (figuratively)to report that the CitraWipes did an outstanding job of cleaning up my hands.CitraWipeDisplay

Alternate Uses?

Personally I like the following description- ‘Citra Wipe is made of a very soft, strong, low-linting non-woven material’. Why does this strike my fancy? I think I’ve discovered the perfect Belly Button cleaner. In my mind ‘low-lint’ means ‘no lint’. Never again will I be laughed out of the sauna!

Is Cost An Issue?

The suggested retail price for CitraWipe is $2.45 per two-pack. The parent company Zogics donates 1% of their sales to ‘For The Planet’. Since I live in an area where over-enthusiastic environmentalists have ruined our economy and my personal finances, I’m not as juiced by this contribution as you may be, but I do recognize it’s value.

I get too much pleasure holding a grudge against those who have caused me economic harm to admit that there is merit in conservation. OK, OK, let me say it, “I guess looking after our planet might be a good thing and I applaud Zogics for their contribution!”

They’re making a fine product and they’re ecologically responsible. You can find out about this fine company at

And now a word to all you fellow cheapskates! If you don’t go over to BikeNashbar and look into their outrageous deals you may be religated to a life of destitution, not unlike my own.

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